2010 Honda Civic Hybrid

I recently got a new car. I mean a really new car. It is a 2010 Honda Civic hybrid.   We went all out this time with a 3 year lease and a car that would save us tons on gas.   I love it.   What can I say?   It doesn’t ride quite like the New Yorker or the Park Avenue did but it is dang close.  Now that the kids all drive and have their own car <Can we have an AMEN here>  we don’t need all the room the old cars had.   I feel like I am not only saving money but being earth friendly by cutting down on my carbon footprint.

I have to say I was feeling quite good about myself.  I needed to go shopping today for some new clothes and being conscious of the new car I made sure to park it away from other cars so as not to hurt it.  It is only a month or so old so I am still in the “I need to baby my car” phase.

I started out early this morning heading out for the Dress Barn and after parking carefully went in.   A couple of hours later came out to find the car safe and secure, all by itself, and right where I left it.

The Burlington coat factory was my next destination.  I parked my brand new leased car in the middle of nowhere once more, to to keep it safe.   This time with more confidence.   I came out horrified to find a cart up against the passenger door and ran to rescue my baby.   After a close inspection I determined there were no dings or scratches and so breathed a huge sigh of relief.

At the Mall I was really leery.   That is like the smash em up derby for new cars . Knowing this I parked way out.   Out in the middle of nowhere.   So far out that you nearly have to take a cab to get to the mall.   You know the ones that only fill up the day before Christmas.  If it were a stadium I parked in the “Nose Bleed Section”.    The car looked so lonely out there.   I was satisfied and went into DSW to find the shoes to match all the clothes I bought earlier in the day.  I purchased my shoes and hiked out to my car.  It still looked lonely and secure as I had left it.

Just as I reached the front bumper a beat up, rusty, old, blue Ford pulled into the spot right next to my drivers side door.   He must have thought my car looked lonely too.  NOOOoooooooo!!!!!!!   I was swearing under my breath thinking there has to me 500 parking spots between me and the mall and he picks the spot next to my brand new car. Not the one two spaces or three spaces over or even 20 spaces over. NO RIGHT NEXT to MY NEW CAR.   My car was an island for Goodness sake!   I glared at the man who got out of the car and then watched in slow motion horror as he stood by indifferently while his little boy slammed the rusty Fords back door hard into my brand new 1 month old civic hybrid lease’s driver side door.   I gasped and yelled and ran to inspect the damage.  Sure enough there was a large scratch and dent.   The man and the boy watched me but then proceeded to walk away!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! “What do you think you are doing?” I asked. “This is a brand new car that you just damaged!” I managed through clenched teeth. “I need your information”, I told him.

His name was Robert and it seemed that he borrowed his cousin Jimmy’s uninsured care to take autistic, mute LaJohn to the mall. “Miss”, said Robert, “You might as well tell your insurance company you came out of the store and found it this way.   We weren’t moving so it weren’t no accident and Dejohn is autistic and can’t even talk so he doesn’t know what he did.   It’s not his fault.”

Well I could have yelled and asked him why he parked there but what good would it do. I got in my new but now dinged up car and drove home. I had enough adventure for one day.

Barbie recently turned 50 and many of us grew up with her as a roll model.  My cousin and I took her literally in so many ways.  Did you know that if Barbie were a real woman with her proportions she couldn’t stand up?  We didn’t know that at the time but that explains why when she and I were young and had a figure close to that and we were serious klutzes.  Forget the grace that we imagined she had.  Had she been human she would have shared the broken bones, scrapes, bruises and stitches with us.

Despite all of that, my cousin still wants to be Barbie.  She only laughed when I accused her of being a cougar Barbie; older sexy woman chasing younger guys with cute tushies.   “Well WHY do you want to be Barbie?”  I asked her.  “She’s got everything!” she replied with a few inappropriate pronouns thrown in. “Think about it”.  And she started naming reasons:

• She has the perfect boyfriend; handsome and doesn’t protest or argue about anything.
• She has a cute little sister that can’t steal her boyfriends or clothes.
• She drives the perfect car.
• She’s 50 and looks great; nice skin, hips, breasts and tiny waist.
• She has a townhouse.
• She has clothes to die for and all of her old stuff is collectable.
• Shoes!  OMG if you have a shoe fetish you would be in Barbie Heaven.
• She has a successful job marketing her image to little girls all over the world.
• She seems to have all the money and vacation time she wants.
• She travels with her safari outfit and her personal jet.
• She is invited to numerous balls and parties if her wardrobe is any indication.

Like I said, she has EVERYTHING!”

As a joke I sent her the Barbie song.  Little did I know it would become her ring tone.  I suppose I have to answer her some of her ideas of perfect.  Cousin, Honey, Barbie has her own problems:

• Her boyfriend is stiff and artificial.  We won’t even discuss sex here.
• Her sister doesn’t have a heart, won’t listen and runs with her friends all the time.
• Her car is for show and rides like crap.
• She suffers from scleroderma. Her skin is stretched so tight from makeovers that if she bends too often it cracks, not to mention she falls over.
• Her townhouse is stiff and uncomfortable.
• She is old enough to be considered an antique collectable.
• Her joints creak and crack if they bend at all.
• Her fingers are the first to fall off.
• Dancing is out with her joint problems and it’s difficult to market yourself with no fingers.

Yeah sis,  I’m afraid like us…Barbie is going downhill.  While gravity may not visibly take over we have advantages that she’ll never have.

• We have soft Grandma skin on our arms that love to wrap around little ones who hug us tight in all of their love and innocence.
• We have children who now ask for our advice and honor our wisdom and love us always.
• We have husbands who share their lives with us and talk to us and support us.  I won’t mention sex here either.
• We have comfortable clothes and shoes and cars (usually) in sufficient quantity and comfortable homes to put them in.  If anything breaks down we have people who will give us the shirt off their back, the shoes off their feet and a ride to work or the store.
• We have great friends and relatives who don’t abandon us if our joints don’t work, fingers fall off or our hearts tick funny.  We are everything to them.

Sis,  the money might be nice but I wouldn’t trade what I have for the world.

First and foremost, I believe that every citizen of the United States should have equal rights and Responsibilities.

I believe that any citizen in power is responsible to make all the changes they can for the better of all citizens. This is my health care proposal.  All health care coverage would be based on a sliding scale fee for all citizens.  You would get standard deductions for each family member and regional cost of living adjustments.  My argument…How long do you think the wealthy/powerful would wait before using their influence to lower health care costs if they had to pay more for it?  We would all benefit from it.  Please note that I said citizens.  Does this mean that the poor live on the backs of the wealthy?  Not for long I bet.  The wealthy have both the means and ability to make the changes that the middle class and poor do not and from what I have seen the wealthy generally do not hesitate to oppress and take advantage of those lower classes.  They can and do take money from the poor to build their coffers.

I Believe that if you enter this country illegally or do anything illegal as an alien, you should never be offered citizenship. As long as the United States is in crisis immigration should be limited. I believe that we should open our borders to only those who could benefit our country.  Someone with a job, needing an education, having an education in a needed area etc…at least until the economy improves.  If you are not a citizen you should not qualify for Social Security, Welfare, or any other entitlement.  If you are illegal and attempt to seek entitlement you should be evaluated for life or death crisis and sent right back to your country or origin for any needed treatment.  If your children are legal and you are not you have the choice to go back to your country and with or without them.  English should be the legal language.

I believe that all able bodied US Citizens should work. This means that if you can’t find a job you will be required to spend some extra time shoveling the old man next door’s walk or picking up groceries or just visiting with the elderly lady down the street.  You could mentor the young mother next door and offer babysitting while she did her volunteer time.  Young mom could take her children for a walk and each with a small bag to pick up garbage and cans along the roadway.  Cans can be theirs to keep and cash in.    If we all spent some time helping one another and doing what needs to be done we would be spending less time crying over what we don’t have and demanding entitlements we don’t deserve.  It is a proven fact that persons who feel useful have higher self esteem, suffer less depression and are more interested in the world around them.

I believe that US Citizens should have first priority for jobs with veterans topping that list. US Businesses that export jobs should be subject to a foreign employee tax that cost them as much as the United States workers would require.

I believe we should have equal trade agreements. The United States will only buy from those countries who allow us to sell equal amounts to them without all those import fees that makes our products unattractive.

I believe that our Government should outlaw “Parties”.  We all have the responsibility to look up our representatives voting history and attempt to plow through rhetoric.  Determine who is saying what.  You can find your reps history on the internet.  Just Google their name.  Right now parties seem to encourage partisan behavior.  It’s like watching a kindergarten playground with boys against the girls.

I believe the citizens of the United States should determine by vote congressional pay and benefits at the beginning of each term. Right now Congress is voting in future pay raises that can be enacted at a future date by simple inaction so it is not on their record.  Take a look and see how many of your reps abstained from voting on the new January pay raise.  That would include future benefits.  Once elected to office our congress is set for life even if they do a terrible job in a short 4 years.  They don’t have to pay for health care and receive a salary most of us could live very, very well with.  Many of us would be shocked if we knew actual numbers.  Congres/wo/men should submit pay raise requests and a monthly expense reports to a citizens oversight committee that is NOT appointed.

I believe that our education system is broken and parents and only parents should determine the best system to educate their child. Those parents should be allowed to spend their child’s portion of the education moneys on the educational style that would most benefit their child.   More money, more money is not going to get us better educators. Teachers who stop parenting and start educating with the support of the parent who is involved and chooses their child’s school will get us better educators.  Parent, Child and Educator should all be held equally accountable.  Let’s be creative.  Why shouldn’t a parent who works a second shift schedule be able to choose a second shift educational system for them?

I received a phone call on my cell today and immediately recognized the call as a robo-call.  The caller identified themselves as Visa and said that my card had been deactivated.  It said that I could press 1 to reactivate it or call an 800 number to do so.

My heart did a little pitter patter while I tried to figure out WTF???!!!  The little voices in my head screamed HANG UP in my hard of hearing ear since my other one is completely deaf.   Anyway, I did listen to them (the little voices) after I wrote down all of the information the call provided.  I also checked caller ID and copied the call from number and time.  The person who invented that is a genius, but that is a story for another time.

I made a call to my bank and found that my card was fine and the numbers I had been given were not Visa’s phone numbers.  My banker recommended that I call the police and report the fraud.  I never was any good at following directions so the first thing I did was call my daughter.  It sounds perverse but there was a method to my madness.  You see we share a cell phone service so I figured her number was next.

Text to M:   CALL FROM VISA FRAUD.  STOP!!! DON’T TOUCH BUTTONS. DON’T GIVE INFORMATION!!!

Then I called the police.  It took a couple of phone numbers to get where I needed to go and a promise that someone would call me back.  By the time I had showered, dressed and started a load of laundry my phone rang.  Deputy B asked for me, introduced himself and listened politely.  I’ll spare you the redundancy of repeating my story but I provided him with all the numbers and times and what was said.

I couldn’t believe it!!!  He Googled the phone numbers!  I thought he would have some magic database at his fingers that he could put some multi-sensitive, ultra secret pass code into and find out all about the number.  Nope!  The man Googled it!  I wonder if I could be a secret spy investigator?….nah.   So sure enough, there it was on Google listed as a fraud number.

Deputy B praised my insight and told me that I had done everything exactly right.  I really tried to let that boost my ego but the truth was I was nearly fooled.  The call sounded VERY legitimate.  My red flags were that they had called my cell and I didn’t think the bank had my cell phone.  (When I checked I found I was right.)  The second was the reception was bad on the call.  The third was the little voices in my head.  Sometimes they are misleading but when something sounds wrong, it usually is.  If they had called my home phone rather than my cell I might have fallen for it and given out my info.   Now as an independent lady who just received her last unemployment check with no job in sight I have to admit that it scared the crap out of me.

The dispatch officer told me they get 25 to 30 calls like this per day and Deputy B said too many people give out the information and are either charged exorbitant phone fees and/or their identity is stolen and/or someone empties their bank account.   He also said that most of these calls are generated in another state, country or overseas and are rarely solved so he referred me to the Federal Trade Commission’s Web site:  http://www.ftc.gov/idtheft and told me to file a complaint there as well.  He gave me the report number for my county and told me to include it in the report I filed with the FTC.  Again, after a few clicks I figured out what form to fill out.  The site is pretty easy to navigate through and learned that Identity theft is a lot broader than just bank numbers and ID information.  It can include the theft of your bills.  How many times has that one strange bill been “lost in the mail”?  There is much more.  Deputy B recommended that I  get a copy of my credit report in a month or so to make sure there is nothing strange on it.  I have to give Cudo’s to the Ottawa County Sheriff’s Department.  They were kind and provided me with a wealth of information.

Criminals are getting more and more sophisticated and techno-savvy.   I like to think that I am intelligent enough to detect them but after today I have to question that.  For every crook out there, there is a new way to steal from you and me:  too many for me to think up.  It is important to file your report with your local police and the FTC so that they, and therefore we, can keep up with the new scams and fraud schemes.

I would recommend a fun, interactive website put up by the FTC to expand your knowledge http://www.onguardonline.gov/share-page.aspx. It sounds lofty doesn’t it? ;-/ but it is oh so important.  Learn how to protect yourself.  Better yet, help others learn how to protect themselves.  The tools are all there at the websites provided.

Please, I would welcome your comments concerns and questions.